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Dear Julia

April 7th, 2008 No Comments

Without fail, Julia gives the best relationship advice.  Now, she might not be the best at practicing what she preaches (she hates it when I use cliches!!), but she’s very insightful.

I have a topic of discussion I have been thinking about since December, and then trying to see how capable I am of applying my conclusions in my life.  And I think I’m ready to consult the expert.

It occurred to me as most of my readers also read Julia’s blog, they/you might be missing her relationship wisdom. Of course I can call her (and I will be seeing her in 30 minutes), but you can’t.  So I’m going to experiment here and see if we can have an honest discussion via my blog because I feel like a lot of people run into this problem. Here goes:

Dear Julia,

Tummy tingle is my term for when a guy gives me butterflies, resulting in a huge grin (which all of my friends can instantly recognize as distinct from my normal smile).

Most of the time, people think the tingle signifies we (you, me, anyone) have met someone we should attempt to start a relationship with because a chemistry exists, which we all know is incredibly difficult to find these days.

I now realize that’s not accurate. The tingle signifies an attraction, a lust, but not any logical thought (not front page news). So instead of trying to manifest lust into a relationship, perhaps we should just enjoy the tingle for what it is and let time, life, and logic lead us.

Easier said than done, but I feel like we let the tingle take control because it feels so damn good.  I’ve made this mistake many times before even when I was cognizant of what I was doing.

Am I right here??  I think I know the answer, but how should I really do that, knowing that restraint is the logical thing to do even when it feels like that’s going against my heart? 

You’re the best! Thank you. xx 

(Now, this becomes a little awkward when I know fully well that any guy I am seeing reads my blog, before and after we go out.  This adds a whole new dimension to this question/concept because it’s like he – whoever that may be – gets to “read my diary.” Not to mention, he knows that I would NEVER post about him personally or a relationship specifically to maintain his/our privacy.  I respect that others do not want their personal life open to the public.  You should also know that should I get into a relationship, I won’t be posting about it, sorry, but I think you understand why.  Not sure how this will play out, but know that I’ve intentionally made this post really long so those readers who could care less about my personal life will skip over it completely.)