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August 5th, 2008 No Comments

Crystal Stewart is our reining Miss USA.  A former Miss Texas from Houston, we got along instantly over New York’s lack of authentic Tex Mex.

For dinner, and I’m not kidding, she had pasta with Alfredo sauce and banana creme pie.  And she fully admitted she hadn’t worked out since the Miss Universe pageant in Vietnam.  This girl is truly blessed with a metabolism. (I’m guessing you sense my jealousy.) 

She gave me a behind-the scenes tips for pageants:

  • Vaseline for your smile is outdated, but can come in handy
  • The reason bathing suit bottoms never sag on the girls is because they tape them on.  However, girls with a “pronounced behind” don’t need tape.
  • Hair extensions are a must.
  • The Victoria Secret fillets are everywhere backstage.
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