The Chrystie was a glorified fruit-ini, and The Allen was a souped up Tom Collins. This is why we have recessions.
This is why you order a real cocktail.
And the hangover. If you could afford more than one, you would certainly have a pounding sugar headache to wake up to.
Stick to “rocks” or “neat” boys. It might also lend credibility to the fact you have balls ;)