The Chrystie was a glorified fruit-ini, and The Allen was a souped up Tom Collins. This is why we have recessions.
This is why you order a real cocktail.
And the hangover. If you could afford more than one, you would certainly have a pounding sugar headache to wake up to.
Stick to “rocks” or “neat” boys. It might also lend credibility to the fact you have balls ;)
Rebuttal: This was round one, and the fruitini was for a lady friend. After realizing this was a massive rip off/sugar rush waiting to happen, I went ahead and had vodka on the rocks. Still $15 bucks worth of shitty vodka, but at least it got me tipsy.
Lady friend? You took a date to The Eldridge?! You have bigger troubles than the cocktails. At that point, switch straight to guns Goose and order shots.
You seem like a fun, witty guy on my dashboard that I follow….I forget why. I think someone told me I would find you amusing. Or I might have to credit Denton for the introduction. Whatever. $46 should get you a decent meal and a glass of wine. And I promise she would be much more impressed with your charm across the table than your pull with the doorman at a trendy club.