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January 14th, 2009 No Comments




The Chrystie was a glorified fruit-ini, and The Allen was a souped up Tom Collins. This is why we have recessions.

This is why you order a real cocktail.

And the hangover.  If you could afford more than one, you would certainly have a pounding sugar headache to wake up to.

Stick to “rocks” or “neat” boys.  It might also lend credibility to the fact you have balls ;)

Rebuttal: This was round one, and the fruitini was for a lady friend. After realizing this was a massive rip off/sugar rush waiting to happen, I went ahead and had vodka on the rocks. Still $15 bucks worth of shitty vodka, but at least it got me tipsy.

Lady friend?  You took a date to The Eldridge?!  You have bigger troubles than the cocktails.  At that point, switch straight to guns Goose and order shots.

You seem like a fun, witty guy on my dashboard that I follow….I forget why.  I think someone told me I would find you amusing.  Or I might have to credit Denton for the introduction.  Whatever. $46 should get you a decent meal and a glass of wine.  And I promise she would be much more impressed with your charm across the table than your pull with the doorman at a trendy club.