“Sadly today, a small cynical part of me will die a tortuous death”
June apparently is the month for weddings. The month where you attend these events you agreed to months ago, laughing to yourself at the fancy-dancy invite you got from one of the guys you used to sit around drinking Keystone Lights with, while violently arguing whether or not you could dunk a football on goalposts or if it was simply a feat that elite athletes made look easy? All his while high on schwag weed that you spent 15 minutes picking through, to rid it of it’s seeds & stems. Ah, the good ol’ days. It could very well be argued that those days were in fact better as I shave this morning & ponder whether or not the person who came up with the whole “Webutaunte” bullshit has some sort of mis-dignosed mild learning disability. But I digress.
Anyway, yes June is a big wedding month but I realized earlier this week that my planned trip to FLA. would not in fact be topped off with a ceremony at a church with no A/C & a reception where I punished the bride’s father for procreating by singlehandedly running up the open bar tab. Nope. I was wrong. No wedding. Today is actually a birthday party. A 1yr old birthday party for the son of a couple whose wedding I already sat through. One in which I was lucky enough to be matched up with the hottest bridesmaid of my wedding attending career. Nothing happened. I swear. She had a boyfriend at the time and I have certain morals & ethics I uphold with my personal behavior…so nothing happened. Maybe.
So, I am off today to a kids birthday party. With a bunch of adults who have decided getting married, having kids, buying houses, and having children’s birthday parties at places called alatte fun is their lot in life. I shit you not…its really called alattefun. A little piece of me is dying today as I will sit there, not with alcohol to sooth the nerves(although don’t think half a Xani bar will not be consumed) but rather coffee talk about the “Fam”. WTF?!? happened to my life? Just last week I was waking up and stumbling down to the beach to fish only to stumble back a few hours later and fall into a hammock and that was my day. I guess today is my penance. That and possibly the beginning to the end of what was the “best part of my life”. I am sure I’ll have fun today and I am making my day out to sound worse than a week at Gitmo, but it’s still a little sad. I will never again be able to walk by a family oriented establishment and giggle to myself while saying, “suckas”.
Minus the Xani – Exactly.
P.S. Your personal posts are my favorite (he rarely writes likes this, but it’s worth wait. I laughed out loud at this one. I’m crossing my fingers he’ll find a lady love soon.)
P.P.S. FLA – you’re dating yourself here. Haha. You don’t post you’re picture, but it’s these little things that give away you’re no spring chicken. (Not to mention the Gitmo reference.)