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The Five Stages of Costume Grief

October 30th, 2009 No Comments


1. Rejection.  “Meh, The Most Interesting Man in the World is … fine, nothing special.  I can do better.  How about … slutty Balloon Boy?”

2. Denial.  “I can’t think of anything, but I’m sure it will come to me if I just spend a few hours playing iPhone Skee-Ball.”

3. Anger.  “Goddamnit!  Some asshole stole my idea!”

4. Panic. “Only 24 hours left!  If I don’t figure it out now, I’ll have to do the slutty Batman costume from American Apparel.  (Dials iPhone. Pause.)  What do you mean you’re out of slutty Batman?!?!”

5. Acceptance. “Sigh.  Suit, tie, scotch glass.  Don Draper again.”

The only reason I’m dressing up at all is for free drinks at Fusion.

Costumes suck in every way until you get to the party and people appreciate your creativity.  And that’s why slutty Batman/school girl/maid/anything doesn’t really get you the attention you’re looking for.  That is unless you really “fill out” the costume :)

In other words, back to the drawing board for me and Teeny.