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An Alternative Oscar Perspective

March 9th, 2010 10 Comments

I wrote this post without watching a red carpet review or hearing outside opinions on what our favorite fashionistas wore to the Oscars.  Aftwerwards, I turned on E! to see what the “experts” had to say.  Not to my surprise, we are not in total agreement about the glam gowns.

First, Best Dressed:

It’s a bad picture, I know, but I’m positive this dress is stunning in person.  If you were standing next to it, you’d fall to your knees before your glance passed the bust.  And THEN, you would admire her for being a fashionista that commands the carpet.  A Miley Cyrus can’t pull this off.

Unfortunately I’ll folllow her, not with my Worst Dressed, but rather my Biggest Disappointment:

Carey Mulligan, the young beauty from The Education who made such a brilliant debut….why? why! let me down like this. Ok, your hair was cut for your next project, but couldn’t you dye it back to brown for the event….AND you shouldn’t shop by label.  The Prada tag is deceiving here; that’s an 80’s prom dress love.  I’m so glad you’re talented so I can see you again on the silver screen before they roll out the carpet for the next event.  Calling some other stylist besides Rachel Zoe (she’s already skinny), please style this lovely lady for the star she is about to be.

Moving on down the line:

JLo looks like she’s been eaten by a Jellyfish.  That’s all.

When I watched the awards, I actually felt sorry for these two women:

Seated, they both look like they are wearing the same dress.  Obviously they are not.  But!  You see the similarity.

My final Oscars note has to do with “sexy” silts.

All of the women you see above are clearly beautiful, talented, [insert your adjective here], so why do they feel the need to have a slip up the front of their dress that gestures (that is the best word I can think of) to their yaya.

Mariah always looks like a slut, I get that one.  But the other dresses are stunning without the arrow upward.

And I’m not a conservative.  I just didn’t feel the slit was necessary.

Tell me if I’m wrong.  Obviously I’m ok with that.

Maybe at the end of the day, all they want is the same thing we do….

Did he look amazing or what?!  His hair?  I could take it or leave it.  As my friend says, “He’s George-Fucking-Clooney.”

I didn’t crop his girlfriend (whose name I don’t know) because she’s obviously wearing some sort of support garment.  I know some of us fall victim to the mindset that we need to have a flat stomach because that’s what men like/all the women in magazines do/we want to be that chick in the gym/whatever – we want to be slimmer.  Healthy and/or happy is how we should live.  And the man/woman we want will love us anyway.  Case and point above.

The resounding trends on the carpet were obviously sleeveless gowns, bright colors, soft up-do’s, and hair swept to one side.  Wearing long hair over one shoulder is actually a style we haven’t seen in a while that will be easy and fun to wear this spring. So test it out and see how it suits you.

That’s it for my Oscar coverage.  Hope you caught Bradley Cooper, he was my highlight, but I won’t force that on you.  As for the dresses…I’ll be honest.   The pictures don’t hold a candle to the real deal, up-close and in the sequins.  So it’s hard for me to describe the gowns like I would a runway show.

Either way, I’m sure you’ve had enough.  Moving on to Spring!

(All pictures from People.com)

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  • Pet Peeve

    Its “case IN point” , not “case and point”

  • Callie

    Were you 3/4 into a bottle of wine when you wrote this post? It’s absolutely riddled with typos and incorrect word choice. Half the time I’m not even sure WHAT you’re trying to say!

    “got passed?????”

    • I was feeling chatty.

      You’re right though, the end is a bit sloppy.

  • Callie

    JUST the end? There’s sloppiness from the first paragraph, honey.

  • Kammy

    Enough with the grammar correction. Unless you are a third grade teacher, correcting grammar is obnoxious. And it is ENDLESSLY obnoxious in these and other comments on this site.

    However, what I really came here to say is: George’s hair is FUGLY.

  • Heather

    Normal, healthy women have bellies, and they are sexy. My arms and legs are twiggy but I have a nice lil belly. Not having one would be like having concave tits. If only more women realized this and stopped beating themselves up over a normal curve of our body.

  • Heather

    And was it just me or did Clooney look “SO OVA IT” the entire night?

  • Benita

    Mary, kindly rethink using ‘slut’ as a pejorative. This is a great essay on why the word demeans all of us:


  • Peter Y.

    Kammy, if Mary expects anyone to take her blog – her business – seriously, then grammar and word usage is a very big issue and her readers have a right to point that out to her. This blog is her “product” and if she expects people to read and respond favorably to her product, then she has a responsibility to them to offer the best product possible. And just dismissing readers with a trite “Well if you have a problem, don’t read here!” is NOT the way to keep present readers or attract new ones.

  • Selo

    Mary if you need an editor I’ll do it for free.