Take advantage
of my archives!

Visit my hangouts in:

Brands I've
Loved Forever

To Rush or Not To Rush?

January 26th, 2011 4 Comments

This was the question a reader emailed me last week.  She is concerned that since she’s not a girly girl, would she enjoy the experience.

Here’s what I wrote to her:

You sound exactly like me in terms of guy and girl friends.  I’m definitely more comfortable around guys and hate needless drama.

I went to school far away too, which is why I wanted to be in a sorority (and I’m a WASPy Texan – we don’t know how to not go Greek). It’s a great way to meet both girl and guy friends. You don’t have to be a girly girl to enjoy or benefit from it.  I was never fully involved in ALL of the activities, I picked what I wanted to do, hung out with my core group of girls, and went to the social events.  Plus, I loved having a place to go grab lunch while I caught up with girls or study in a quiet cozy environment.

I never lived in the house but I chose an apartment close by so I could easily walk over whenever I wanted.

The first two years I was more active than my third year (I graduated in 3 years), which is standard for most girls.  I had a little sister, helped organize events, etc.

What came as a shock to me was that my favorite part about the whole thing was RUSH week when we were OBLIGATED to be there all day for 2 weeks.  I made friends with girls I had never considered.

You should not listen to anyone else’s opinion about going Greek.  If these guys are your friends, then they’ll love you either way.

I say go for it!  You can always drop out, but I think you’ll enjoy it.  Just don’t stress and keep an open mind.

Thankfully I don’t have any sorority photos to include with this post, so I’ll offer up a recent picture of me and one of my favorite people on the planet – My Kittyball Ali.  If I had to pull a tooth out every day I was a Delta Gamma just to share those years with her and have her friendship now,  I would have absolutely done it :)

Tweet this!Tweet this!
  • Denise Cornelius

    best years of my life were in my sorority:)

  • donya

    god, this is so depressing. sororities and fraternities are totally on the out. the rates of date-rape, eating disorders, bullying, and low self-esteem is widely documented. this blog is becoming increasingly “how to become a vapid trophy wife” (uh except for nabbing the husband: eating/cleansing obsessions, Botox endorsements, deluded letters to Chanel and other shopping obsessions and now this. Seriously MR how much of Texas backwards stereotype can you be? Be intellectual and/or progressive on one topic, I dare you.

  • Lily

    Aww! This sounds like good advice. I always wished I would have rushed. (And reading about it makes me wish I had even more)

  • Stephanie J

    **Squee! I’ve been reading your blog for years and never knew you were a DG!**

    Back on topic… Honestly, it was the best thing I did in college. I thought about not going through it (same reasons – lots of guy friends, not a girly girl, etc.) but my dad (!) practically forced it upon me because he was in a frat and it made his college experience. SO glad I listened to him. There is so much leadership experience, you do make friends for life, and it’s given me so much outside of college with my alumnae group.

    Donya mentions the several offenses including eating disorders and low self-esteem and you may have even heard of some recent hazing incidents. There is no denying those things have happened and when they do it’s really sad. It’s very true that sorority and fraternity life has had its fair share of issues. That being said, that’s not EVERY sorority and I would caution you against those stereotypes. It’s really easy to pin point the issues and negative events of any organization and it’s much easier to do that with organizations that are all women or all men and have some type of exclusivity (perceived or real) associated with them. Take eating disorders – they are running rampant through college age women sorority or not. In the flip side of all the negative stereotypes, my own chapter encouraged us to be involved on campus as much as we could, there was absolutely no hazing that ever occurred, and there was never a pressure on anyone to be one way over another.* We had everyone from the reserved to the wildly hippy to the girly-girl and those that partied hard to those that never partied. It was really nice knowing that if I wanted to attend a documentary filming with some sisters I could and if I wanted to go out for a night on the town I had those sisters, too.

    Again, if you go through recruitment, just be sure you get a good feeling about it. When any sorority has issues I think it boils down to the quality and level of involvement of their advisers and their sorority’s national executive offices involvement in their fraternal life. These directly affect the type of values the sorority promotes and how they handle their day-to-day operations. If you get a weird vibe, listen to it and trust your intuition. Lastly, be as open as you can to every sorority on campus as you go through recruitment. When everyone is coming out of HS some still feel that pressure to be part of the “in” sorority but by focusing on that instead of your connection with the girls you might miss out on a really fantastic connection with a sorority that wasn’t originally on your radar.

    Mary – I wholeheartedly agree with everything you mentioned in this post. Just thinking of the close friendships and the experiences with my sisters makes me tear up a little. I wish I could hop on a plane to see them right now.

    *Unless you count pressure to pursue academic excellence and to work on personal development? Which, you know, are good things…

    (Ah, this turned into a little novel but I just can’t help it! I loved Greek life!)